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Austin Nelson Re:Gen Testimony

Austin Nelson Re:Gen Testimony

by Austin Nelson on September 15, 2022

On August 20, 2021 I posted Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds,” on Facebook. I captioned it with an encouragement to wait on God, a reminder that His timing is perfect and that He is the Great Healer. Looking back, I realize that it may have seemed like an encouragement to others. But, the truth is that I was so broken that day that I couldn’t think about anyone else. I posted it as a public encouragement to myself. 

I grew up in a loving Christian home in Kentucky with every advantage. But, I never felt like I fit in. Not in my family, not with my friends and not in church. I felt that everyone had this guidebook to life and that I had missed the day that they were handing it out. I was smart, but got bad grades. I was a good kid, but I was always acting out. I looked good on the outside, but I was a mess on the inside. Whenever help was offered, I would refuse. If someone tried to help and couldn’t, I would just feel more broken. I would beg God to fix me. He didn’t and I felt SO abandoned. Yet, I felt that I deserved His abandonment. I felt like a little girl begging her Daddy to love her and knowing that she would never be lovable.

I eventually got married to an amazing man and had three beautiful kids. To the world, I still looked good. What they didn’t see was job loss, miscarriages, breast cancer, depression, erratic behavior and the visual hallucinations I was beginning to have. Then came the bipolar diagnosis. And there it was, a medical confirmation of my brokenness. God had made me broken and I could never be fixed, only managed with medication and therapy.

I began an emotionally exhausting  journey through therapy, medications and questioning God. I was physically and mentally broken and felt abandoned by my husband and a failure to my kids. My parents struggled with the diagnosis and became “fixers” which created a chasm in our relationship. God eventually convicted my heart and I chose to 100% trust Him. Over the next 8 years, God built back my marriage on the foundation of the covenant that my husband and I had made with Him on our wedding day. He gave me new priorities in my home of God first, my husband second and our kids third. He started breaking down my fear of judgement from others through weight gain due to medications and depression and showed me an unconditional love through my husband in my less desirable physical body. I was better. I was a “Functioning Bipolar.”

Then, a little over a year ago my husband said that we needed to move to Atlanta for his job. I was crushed. He was asking me to give up my whole life and my children’s for his job. And that’s where I was on Friday, August 20, 2021. Sitting alone in a rental house in Roswell, GA surrounded by boxes that I didn’t want to unpack, feeling angry, sad, and broken. So, I posted an encouragement to myself on Facebook that I desperately wanted to believe.

We had just started attending Fellowship Bible Church. I still didn’t know anyone in Roswell and really wanted to move back to Kentucky. I had been hurtful to my parents and I was feeling very alone. My marriage was hurting. I didn’t know at the time, but in 5 months my husband would lose the job for which we had moved. Then, at the close of service that Sunday Pastor Jason Cook asked a question, “Do you feel broken?”

YES!!!!!! 

He talked about ReGen and I pulled out my phone right there in church and registered. My husband and I have just graduated from the nine month program. Learning how to recognize, recover and heal from my sin has been a game changer. It has really given new meaning to being a “new person in Christ” for both of us. Trusting and Waiting on God was so hard for most of last year. There was SO much hurt and fear. But, Fellowship stepped up in a huge way for our family. We have made some of the best friendships of our lives at church and in Roswell. In the past year, God has helped me to manage my bipolar in a way that I had not been able to do before. My husband has an amazing new job. He works remotely which has given us such sweet moments throughout the day together. The girls have made wonderful friends. I learned that God didn’t make me broken, that the bipolar was just another tool that He gave me to use for His glory. I also learned that God never abandoned me, He was always right there beside me. But, until I could name my sin and truly repent from it, He couldn’t give me the grace, forgiveness and healing that He so desperately wanted to bestow upon me.

This year has already brought new challenges with my sister’s cancer, my health, a kid with major depression and one with major anxiety and middle school everything. We have a calendar that feels so full at times that it exhausts me. The biggest difference this year is that I am excited to Trust and Wait. I am excited to look back on God’s intervention today, and I can’t wait to see all of the things He will do over the next year. He truly does heal the brokenness and binds the wounds. And He does it over and over again.

He has led me to be an overcomer, through our side-by-side journey where He has taught me that, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians  4:13

Tags: regeneration, care, regen

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